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内心的画面

有关“潜意识”

你是否有过这样的一种体验,不断流动意识的固定画面下,你的视线也是流动的。仿佛内心的那层积蓄,正在一点点地喷发着,像极了火山激烈过后的丝丝炽热;有时候却来不及停留片刻,像极了拉闸似的由明转暗的变化。无论如何,这样的心境总是新鲜的,那种突然造访的意识总是在某一瞬间同相同的风景却带着各自特定的含义,一起在脑海里闪过了。来不及更多的体验,更别提记录了,最后只剩下一种感觉,留在脑海里有关这种画面一种痕迹,偶然间你会想起一只鸟从天空飞过,却什么也不留下。在多年后的某一个早晨或者黄昏,在你面对类似的风景,同样的心境出现,你总会觉得你一定在哪里见到过这样的风景,是梦里吗?怀疑是肯定会有的。因为无论你那时候是悲伤、忧郁、苦闷、深沉,你总能将视线里的风景幻化成符合你内心活动的画面,可以说这是来自自然却是内心的画面。我想,了解艺术家,尤其是画家的作品,总是需要这样一种有意识而来的无意识的相识相知。不到臭味相投,绝难产生情意绵绵,或者至少说是理解的程度。这样的意识,是否来自天生,我并不清楚。人类的大脑,至今一直在脑科学家和神经学家,以及精神病学家和心理学家那里摆弄着。说得更普遍些,每个人每天每时每刻都在参与着这样的活动。至于你现在会不会有这样的冲动,不如拿出一幅画来看看,我想这是一种很好的体验。

当你立在一个地方,遥望眼前所能及的风景,一种新鲜的心境随着你所能到的眼界一起到来,之后慢慢地在你的脑海里形成了内心的画面。我常常站在阳台远眺远处。当你立在那儿,你的视线不断地跟你相近,你所见到的是你内心所拥有的一切。天空是一幅泼墨画。远处的山,轮廓渐渐模糊,像一条不断流动的线条或者说是富有生命力涌动而出的多彩。我的内心愈发安静,而渐渐空白了。我同山的距离如同转动的水车,从远到近,再近而远,如同“看山不是山,看山还是山”那般情景。而眼前的视觉影像是一幅画上的几个板块,一小片跟着一小片,俨然成了没有边际平面里的胡乱填埋的色彩。流动的线条已然凝结成冰,在几根电线杆的映衬下,显得生硬,像一幅纹丝不动的背景图。那些突兀的长线,令我想起了长在悬崖边上的枯木。我开始联想,是电线杆像极了它们,或是它们像极了枯木。而至始至终我都不能找到答案,虽然它们都是那么的笔挺。我想木头尚有根深扎土里,而杆子只是立在土里。这像农民和房地产商一样出于最不一样的本质,来热爱他们脚下的土地。思绪地嘎然而止,原因是来自远处的那几抹余辉,显然我没能再接着思考关于农民和土地的感情。这时,在我流动的前方,已凝结成块。红色的天悬在最上面,墨绿色的山影在其下,黑色的线条夹在两块板中间,几根灰色的电线杆横乱竖着。一个侧脸,爱怎么放就怎么放,把头颅安放在天空上或者山中或者电线杆顶,都是可以的。我不由自主地联想到达利《记忆的永恒》里的“钟”流动的样子,流淌在河里,流淌在木头上,随处而放。这是一样的,我所有的思考都是放在它们那里,正如时间的流动在于每个地方。在我转过头一瞬间,在我凝神的那一瞬间,那些红色、墨绿色、灰色和黑色都一一清晰再现,这些都已经构成一幅在城市背景下与自然面对面的一个向往纯粹之人所有内心的涌动。

林钰/20100424

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