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昔读《写给年轻妈妈》

卢勤《写给年轻妈妈》/中国妇女出版社/1997年第二版

春节回家,翻箱倒柜,偶然间发现了这本书。没有拍拍尘灰的动作,却好像打开一颗尘封的心。本着一种类似经历过又带着迎接的样子,来理解“妈妈”和“孩子”,觉得十分异样。

泛黄的色调摆在了封面上,所有纸张仿佛增添了一种岁月感,这是在10年前翻过的一本书。橙色调的大手牵小手,修长食指和无名指紧紧地被胖乎乎的小手握住,有一种拉着和挂着的感觉,十分紧和自然。那时的我,是一位孩子。那时的我,12岁,和所有的孩子一样,学着同妈妈沟通,学着成长。现在的我,不是一位妈妈,也不再是一位孩子。虽然现在的我,在妈妈的眼里,是一位永远长不大的孩子。

印象中,那会儿十分喜爱“知心姐姐”这个称呼。一提到这个词语,所有的面孔都是笑容满满,所有的心都是善良包容的,这世界充满了美好和温情,仿佛天使来到了人间。那会儿最喜欢看里面的故事,善良坚强勇敢助人等等。看了故事,自己就瞎想了一些当时的情节,自己也瞎掰了好多悲惨的忧伤的坚强的勇敢的小段子,好些时光就是这么度过的。也觉得这世界上的小孩都是不一样的,环境也是不一样的。那时候,觉得最大的交流是“爱”,爱可以包容一切不平等,可以平衡心中的矛盾。不论你是贫困山区的穷苦娃娃,还是城市的小皇帝。

正月初的某个晚上,重翻了这本书。正如打量一件放置时日的物品,我掂量了这本书,很轻,不很厚。翻开目录,更多的是从小孩子眼里来看待妈妈这个角色,以及如何更好地对孩子进行教育。从家庭、学习、生活、教育、父母、男孩女孩、内心、性格、成长、潜力、培养等许多方面来讲述年轻妈妈对孩子的认识和教育培养等方面。挺不错的一本书,但总觉得少了一些类似自由的元素,正如那会儿的叛逆和渴望被尊重的感觉。对于自由的阐述,在那时的年纪没有思虑多少,只是觉得自己能做自己喜欢做的事便足够了。越长大,对于自由的理解,虽然还是坚持走自己选择的路,但也增添了责任和意义的成分在内。尤其是对职业的理解,也加深了。晚上读到一博友文章,不禁让我重翻了一遍马克思《青年在选择职业时的考虑》,思绪又再次得到了整理。在某种程度上,对于自由的理解,也多了一份高尚的意义。

或许在若干年后,我成为年轻妈妈中的一位,里面的许多思想和方法,我还是会接受的。同一些朋友(部分已有小孩了)聊孩子教育的话题,发现家庭教育比学校教育更为重要,影响更深。如果有条件的话,把小孩放在家里进行知识教育,也未尝不是很好的方式。先联络几个朋友,最好是各自擅长不同的领域,比如,甲擅长乐器,就可以对这一群小盆友进行乐器方面的教育;乙擅长物理,以此类推。其实,从师资来考虑和小孩整体教育来看,这样的实行也未必行不通。只不过在现在这样的教育环境和经济社会下,想要进行家庭知识教育还是困难重重的。这种家庭教育,在我现在看来只能是一种预想和规划。

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